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Reserve Your Cup :: Opportunity

Real Madrid, 2011 Copa del Rey Champion!

No to Provocative Kids' Apparel!

Just this morning a friend of mine sent me a Skype message with a link. Typical of me, I started reading an article by LZ Granderson for CNN. The title read ‘Parents, don't dress your girls like tramps and because I am a parent’ and feel the same way I read on. While he was describing what caught his eye at the airport, I was thinking he was talking about a 16 year old teenager.

He was describing an 8 year old girl to be wearing a halter top that showed her midriff paired with a tight sweatpants that rested just a little low on her waist with the word “Juicy” written on the pants backside. Her lips were pink and shiny from the lip gloss with her long hair braided ala Bo Derek in the movie 10 and wearing dangling earrings.

While I was trying to picture his description, I really wasn’t that happy with what I was getting. While we want to make sure our kids look okay, trendy, cool but as a parent I do not feel it’s proper to let them wear skimpy outfits that show a lot of skin. Okay, am a little conservative that I don’t even consider it right to see young ladies wearing a top that shows half her body so you can just imagine how I would feel if it’s an 8 year old.

I should not be surprised since Abercrombie recently came up with a push up, padded triangle bathing suit top. They might have changed the name to striped triangle and the because of the public outcry but the damage has been done. For Abercrombie and other retailers to produce these products we are sending a message to little girls that suggest something is wrong with their bodies and for them to be more “desirable” they need to wear this padded bra. Women are desirable, kids are cute! No question about that. The fact that little girls want to wear these things because it’s the hot and trendy thing is something that parents need to look into especially if they want to wear one because they want to be attractive and desirable.

In 2007, the American Psychological Association Task Force released a report examining the sexualization of young girls via the media. They looked at media such as television, movies, music videos, video games, magazines and products such as toys and clothing. According to the report, the sexualization of girls can undermine their confidence in and comfort with their own body, cause mental health problems including eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression, and have negative consequences on developing a healthy self-image. What is worse is that these provocative outfits are often equated with sexual availability and though some kids do not intend to be sexy still these clothes may send the wrong message or may be misconstrued.

I definitely agree with the author when he says that although it’s ok to blame retailers but it is still the parents who are responsible. For one, not all online clothing stores carry provocative apparel for kids. Second and more importantly, it is up to the parents to make sure that when their children go out of their house whether to simply be with friends or go out on a party they are properly clothed. Parents are the ones who buy their children clothes, not the kids, and that gives them the opportunity to choose the right clothes for children. It can be trendy and fashionable, without being provocative, so that your children still wear them. Now if they insist on wearing skimpy clothes then it is just but right to impose rules. It may be hard for parents to say no to their children’s request for these latest on fad outfits but then this is also the right time to explain and help them understand the consequences that dressing provocatively can have.

Let us remember that we are parents and our role in life is to provide our children the proper guidance that would make them productive members of the society. I have always told my son we can be friends and that means I listen to him and his ideas, we go out together, we play, we argue, we can do so many things together but there are rules to be followed on some aspects in his life that I believe calls for it and I will insist on that. Am doubly glad he is a boy and at 13 may be a little fashion conscious but still one cannot go wrong with pants, shirts and polos…well, I still don’t want his underwear showing and his pants falling off his butt but other than that we’re cool.

A Parents Teachings

I was reading a blog This slice of life... about the nettle season when I went to read the other posts. I found the mom-isms really funny because I could relate to it....yes, funny it may be but more often than not it comes out of my mouth, too. The reason it's funny is because though it may sound true (or is it?) sometimes there is really no logic to it. It feels like it was said perfectly at that time for that particular moment or specific time but when you think about it you wonder where it really came from.

Then one of the comments from Granddad made me really laugh and goes like this: "If you fall out of that tree and break your leg, then don't come running to me!"...See where's the logic in that?...of course if the kid breaks his or her leg, he or she would not be able to come running towards you. When I was told that as a kid, I remember answering "of course I wont because I will be flat on my back" and Amy in her green hospital scrubs would be there to tend to me (she was the nurse I run to when my cuts and bruises needed tending and I didn't want my mom to know, the hospital was just a walk away from our house)...but did I learn anything from it? No, no, no because I also heard myself telling my son that when he was climbing over the balcony grilles.

I left a comment on that blog and told her we learned the same things only it's in Tagalog. This is entitled Mga Turo ( Teachings) and has been shared many times over, something to laugh about:

Naaalala nyo pa ba ang mga turo sa atin ng mga magulang natin nung bata pa tayo?

1. Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako ng HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas. Mga punyeta kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay."

2. Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay.
"Kapag yang mantsa di natanggal sa carpet, magdasal ka na!"

3. Si Itay, tinuruan niya kami ni Kuya kung anong ibig sabihin ng TIME TRAVEL.
"Kung di kayo tumigil ng pagngangawa diyan, tatadyakan ko kayo ng todo hanggang umabot kayo sa isang linggo!"

4. Kay Inay ako natuto ng LOGIC.
"Kaya ganyan, dahil sinabi ko."

5. Kay Inay din ako natuto ng MORE LOGIC.
"Kapag ikaw ay nalaglag diyan sa bubong, ako lang mag-isa ang manonood ng sine."

6. Kay Itay naman natuto ng FORESIGHT si Kuya.
"Siguraduhin mo na lagi kang mag susuot ng malinis na brief, para pag nakascore ka sa syota mo e di kahihiyahiya."

7. Si Inay naman ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang ibig sahibin ng IRONY.
"Sige ngumalngal ka, kung di bibigyan talaga kita ng iiyakan mo!"

8. Kay Inay ako natuto ng science of OSMOSIS.
"Punyeta, itigil mo ang kadadakdak at tapusin mong kainin ang inihanda kong hapunan para sa iyo."

9. Si Inay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang CONTORTIONISM.
"Tignan mo nga yan dumi sa likod ng leeg mo, tignan mo?!?"

10. Si Itay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung anong ibig sabihin ng STAMINA.
"Wag kang tatayo diyan hangga't di mo natatapos kainin lahat yan gulay mo!"

11. At si Inay ang nagturo sa amin kung anong ibig sabihin ng WEATHER.
"Alangya, ano ba itong kuwarto nyong magkapatid, parang dinaanan ng bagyo!"

12. CIRCLE OF LIFE, ang paliwanag sa akin ni Inay ay ganito:
"Malandi kang bata ka, iniluwal kita sa mundong ito, maari rin kitang alisin sa mundong ito."

13. Kay Itay ako natuto kung ano ang BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Tatadyakan kita diyan, huwag ka ngang mag-uumarte diyan ng parang Nanay mo!"

14. Si Inay naman ang nagpaliwanag sa amin kung anong ibig sabihin ng ENVY.
"Maraming mga batang ulila sa magulang, di ba kayo nagpapasalamat at mayroon kayong magulang na tulad namin?."

15. Si Itay naman ang nagturo sa akin ng ANTICIPATION.
"Tangna kang bata ka, hintayin mong makarating tayo sa bahay...."!

16. At si Itay pa rin ang nagturo kay Kuya kung ano ibig sabihin ng RECEIVING.
"Uupakan kita pagdating natin sa bahay....!"

17. Si Inay naman ang nagturo sa aking kung ano ang HUMOR.
"Kapag naputol yang mga paa mo ng pinaglalaruan mong lawn mower, wag na wag kang tatakbo sa akin at lulumpohin kita!"

18. Kay Inay din ako natuto ng WISDOM.
"Pag umabot ka na ng edad ko, saka mo pa lang maiintindihan ang lahat."

See the English version below for those highlighted in red, some may not be the exact translation but it's almost the same thing:

1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me about RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me about LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me about IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

6. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

7. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

8. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

9. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

10. My mother taught me about GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

11. My mother taught me about FEAR.
"One day you'll have a child who'll do the same things to you."

(source for English version: This slice of life...)

Soccer Practice Under The Sun

Summer vacation has officially started here in the Philippines and so my son is already in summer mode. Last Saturday, he asked permission to practice soccer in school. Yes, he still asks my permission and for a 13 year old that is quite something else. Anyway, he said it was supposed to be a practice in the morning only and will be home by lunch.

Lunch came and went but still no son. Okay, maybe the practice went on in the afternoon. My father was asking already if he texted that he was going to be late and I had to reply no, since he had not sent any message. Dinner came and went, still no Sijent. Sent several text messages, called him up and his phone rung but got no answer. I was forced to text one of his teammates since my father kept asking me the situation. It's a Saturday and there would be less jeepneys available blahblahblah. I was getting worried but texting his teammate is always my last recourse...a good thing I took those numbers. Good thing he replied (and I thanked him for that, bless that boy!) to let me know that Sijent and other teammates ate before going home and took my worries off.

Told myself that I would not meet him angry or what (and I was true to that) and boy was I shocked. He was dark and sunburned by that whole day of practice under the sun. He could only tell me, he need new sports wear, a long sleeved soccer jersey at the most. And so I need to search for one if I do not want to see my son burnt red and aching since they will be practicing 3x a week.

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